


Amen

by OldWomanJosie



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, implied BDSM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 13:52:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15842619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldWomanJosie/pseuds/OldWomanJosie
Summary: What if he wasn't Daniel Jacobi; the right one? What if he wasn't...human?A coda to Time to Kill, in which Jacobi seeks aid in confirming his humanity.





	Amen

It was a sober crew that rejoined the Hephaestus actual after the flare and the storm and the...Jacobi. No one had caught Eiffel crying during the mission, but his eyes had been suspiciously red for hours and he disappeared almost immediately upon return. Maxwell and Lovelace covered over their obvious shock with aptitude, carrying on the mission as if everything was fine, everything had to be fine.

And Jacobi...

Honestly Jacobi didn't remember redocking with the Hephaestus. The debriefing was a blur and the rest of the day slid by without impressing itself on him. Everyone looked at him strangely, everyone whispered when they thought he couldn't hear.

But he knew what they thought. What if he wasn't Daniel Jacobi; the right one? What if he wasn't...human?

He was Daniel Jacobi. He was.

He hoped.

After hours, he wandered the station aimlessly. He avoided populated areas without giving it much thought and simply floated on through. Jacobi felt like a ghost in more ways than one. If no one saw him rattling around the empty halls of ship and station, was he even there? Each time he caught a look at the star through a passing porthole he flinched without even realizing it was happening. Did he belong out there instead?

With a start Jacobi realized that he had stopped in front of Kepler's quarters. His hand hovered over the chime, hesitating. Maybe he should go. Maybe Kepler wasn't home. What would he even...

Jacobi pressed down on the chime before he could stop himself. The door opened as if Kepler had just been waiting for the bell to ring. He probably had, the creepy bastard. "Mister Jacobi," he drawled lazily, flashing that irritatingly bright smile. "What can I do for you?"

Abruptly Jacobi realized his hands were shaking. He shoved them into his pockets and studiously looked everywhere except at Kepler. The colonel's grin never faltered, but his eyes flickered over Jacobi, taking in the way his shoulders hunched and his head bowed. "Jacobi?" Kepler asked again, softer.

"I need it, okay?" Jacobi blurted. "I need you to hurt me, I need you to touch me, I need to feel like I'm _here_ and I'm _real_ , that I'm _me_ because maybe-" _Because maybe I'm not._ Jacobi shook with it, the combined adrenaline and anger and bone deep fear all catching up to him at once. He felt he was sinking, drowning in the thought that this might not be his body, his life.

Kepler didn't speak and for one long moment Jacobi feared his rejection more than he feared the deep of space. Then the colonel reached out and wrapped his hand around Jacobi's bicep. "Come here," he growled, and Jacobi almost sobbed in relief.

Later, stretched out and bleeding, Kepler's rings making dotted bruises against his ribs, Daniel Jacobi sobbed again. Not from the pain alone, but he cried for what the pain meant. He was here, he was real, this was his body. He was alive


End file.
